I first saw him April 2003 at Lorenz's graduation party. We were briefly introduced then I had to join the group of fellow students to celebrate. We had beer, music, stories and laughter.We had fun.
I had mistaken him for being a chemist by profession because he seem to know so much about the chemical industry. I was not impressed though. He was just some ordinary guy, someone you'll probably bump into and forget after.
And that was all that I have of him.
Back then, 7 years ago, Lorenz was a friend. She was in a relationship to a guy named Christopher. I remember meeting her sisters (Lea, Lalaine, Lorraine), mother (Salome) and lola Soledad (who they endearingly call as nanay). That time, I was clueless of what their family was like. I just knew that he is Lorenz's father, and his name is William.
After that night, I never got to meet him again. Or maybe, if my memory serves me right, we were again introduced, a few months after. He had to meet his children at a local mall. Maybe I said "musta po?" or maybe I didn't. Perhaps I just smiled and probably we didn't shake hands.
That was how I had him, faceless and just someone you meet and forget after, unless he's someone close to people that are dear to you.
Still I was clueless why he had to meet his children out and not in their house.
Days, nights, weeks and years passed, the sun shone and storms came. I never heard of him again.
Lea grew up to be a fine young lady. Lalaine and Lorraine are now a successful career women, working as supervisors in their chosen fields and they are happy being that way. Lorraine is married and Lalaine is a single mom.
As for Salome, she's probably the proudest mother in the world. For seven years, she labored hard to support her family on her own. She had to send them to school and disciplined them to be strong willed people. She reared her children not by word but by example. She is a superwoman.
Within the span of seven years, I came to know that theirs is a family broken by infidelity. William lived with his other woman and their relationship produced another sibling, Lyka.
Years passed and storms came. Lorenz has since broken-up with Christopher. She worked for private companies and now has her own business. She is married coincidentally to Kristoffer, me!
Quite a number of months back, William paid a visit in Los Baños. He brought with him Lyka. He saw Lea. But the meeting was not as ideal as people would consider. He aged so much that Lea didn't recognize him. It was not a happy moment though. It was a surprise and unwelcomed visit.
He left Los Baños, and that was the last he'll set his foot there.
He left Los Baños, and that was the last he'll set his foot there.
I remember asking my wife Lorenz, "Pano pag-nabalitaan niyong patay na siya, anu gagawin niyo". Her answer was uncertain. But she said "tatay pa rin naman namin siya".
And then the real news came. Monday, October 11, 2010. He died of cardio-respiratory complications.
Upon getting the news, the family decided to visit his remains. There they had known that the other woman left him for another man and that Lyka was left to his care. (Maybe it was karma, may be not). They also learned that he never let anyone know of his visit in Los Baños, and that he cried when Lea didn't recognize him.
I tried guaging his degree of "fatherness" to his children by asking, "meron ba kayong naalala na one "special" happy moment with your father na pwede niyong masabi na naging tatay niyo siya?"
The answer was a commanding wala (none).
The answer did not come as a surprise. From Salome's story he was never supportive on the formative years of their children. The fact of knowing that he left them for a different woman had impacted the consciousness of their children. And probably the greatest factor that led to their apathetic response was the fact that he was never there. That he was the father that never was.
Lalaine, probably, holds the heaviest grudge of the sisters and she's very vocal about it. She wanted him to live long and live the hard life. She wanted him to suffer the consequence of his actions.But Lalaine knows that all the pain must go before he is laid to rest. And she has that time, until tonight.
Being that William's family is poor, his relatives couldn't pay the hospital bills to take him out off the morgue. They needed assistance, and it was the first family who aided help. I remember them saying "kami na nga ang iniwan, hanggang sa kamatayan, kami pa rin ba ang gagastos? Ok lang gumastos basta para sa taong mahal mo. Pero sa kanya, mahirap." I couldn't blame them for saying it. I understand, for had it been me, it could have been worst.
Society may not understand or may be hard at understanding the way they think about their father. I guess it takes one to know one, or maybe, immersion is key. I lived with them, and I only knew much about their lives. And if immersion is a key, then it gives me credit.
As the saying goes " live life to its fullest, life is too short to be wasted. Live a life in error while you're still young, for you have your whole life to correct it." But what if time was short and did not live you're life to its limit? What if you lived your life in error and never lived the day to correct it?
William had the latter part. He may have lived the life he wanted, but surely did live life to its fullest. It was a life in error and he didn't live to correct it. I just want to wish him well. This is his past life, and I hope he gets to correct things if given a chance for a new life.
